Comments on: What Makes Women Happy in their Marriages?

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 02:09:58 +0000

I didn’t find #5 to be true in our lives, but then when I worked outside the home, I spent all my spare time with my husband and son. We made sure to do things together, and my family was always the main focus. My husband helps out quite a bit, so the division of labor was always good, and never an issue. Perhaps we are unusual?

By: Alice Laughland

Alice Laughland — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 20:07:44 +0000

I agree on all of these points and the order in which they are ranked. #1 is particularly important, and without it in place none of the other points work satisfactorily in making a woman happy in marriage..

By: Kristen Hitch

Kristen Hitch — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 05:11:49 +0000

I am currently re-reading a book you might enjoy: Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl. Have you heard of it? Just a “warning,” it is not a Catholic book, but it is biblical and makes some valid points. Several of my devout Catholic friends have read it and recommended it to me. It is a very interesting read. I’d love to know your thoughts.

By: Heidi Saxton

Heidi Saxton — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 13:36:16 +0000

Most women I know, even self-identified SAHMs, don’t fit the traditional mothering model these days — most of us work significant hours volunteering (at school or church, teams), even if we don’t draw a paycheck. We may be “at home” but we’re seldom actually home. Then there’s the home-schooling moms, who have a full-time job as teacher (again, without drawing a paycheck).

By the same token, dads today face different pressures than our fathers did. My dad was home every night by 6:00 pm for dinner; my husband seldom makes it home in time to tuck the children in (let alone for dinner) more than once or twice a week. It’s part of his job . . . and I can tell you that in the beginning, it was a great source of unhappiness for me until I began to examine what it was doing to our marriage. Gradually I had to adjust my expectations, and it made family life much more peaceful.

I think it is this ability to adjust expectations as needed that is really at the heart of marital happiness. Some would call it “contentment.” Others “detachment.” Food for thought.

By: Richard Aleman

Richard Aleman — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 13:22:56 +0000

Hi Colleen,

Thank you for this. It helps those of us praying for a marriage vocation. We all need to read this as we meditate on our roles as future husbands.

Have you ever written any pieces on courtships? I find material regarding courtships scarce, unless we read…well, you know…some unorthodox Cathoic sources.

By: Laura Lowder

Laura Lowder — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 12:36:42 +0000

Colleen, I’ve observed that non-traditional-minded women also tend to be just flat-out angry. They tend to have bought into a mentality that men are the enemy, somehow, responsible for everything that makes them unhappy, and they tend to resent men for being men. I would think that, by contrast, traditional-minded women recognize that men are not supposed to be just like us (excepting anatomical differences) and appreciate the masculine identity, even when it doesn’t quite make sense to us, even when it isn’t exactly comfortable for us.

Good post, btw – thank you!