.

From the St. Louis Review.

.

.

Living the virtue of modesty through dress and thought

by Jennifer Brinker

As an ancient tradition, some of the liturgical items the Church holds sacred — the tabernacle, the ciborium, even the chalice — are covered.

Similarly, human beings should be treated with the same respect, said Colleen Hammond, a Catholic author and international speaker on the topic of modesty.

That’s why practicing the virtue of modesty is essential for Catholics, said Hammond, who wrote “Dressing with Dignity,” a book geared toward the topic of dressing modestly.

The former model and television meteorologist, who left her career to be at home with her four children, is based in Dallas, Texas.

“Our bodies are precious and we are not to use them and abuse them,” said Hammond. “The same is true in nature. Anything precious is difficult to get to,” such as diamonds, gold and pearls.

For centuries, the Catholic Church has taught on the issue of modesty. From the time of Adam and Eve and their creation of fig-leaf coverings after their exile from the Garden of Eden, the Church has stressed the importance of dressing modestly.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that “modesty protects the intimate center of the person … It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their solidarity” (CCC 2521).

Hammond’s book, which was first published in 2004, includes statements from various popes, bishops, saints and Scripture on the nature of a person’s attire; guidelines on choosing modest clothing; the dramatic changes in women’s clothing in the 20th century; and how to talk to young women about the privilege of femininity as a means of encouraging them to dress modestly.

Hammond said that Catholic philosopher and theologian Alice von Hildebrand encouraged her to write the book, which was updated in a second edition in 2005. The 86-year-old von Hildebrand has written numerous books and articles on women and the topic of femininity.

The two women spent three days together at a conference,  “and she kept coming around to this idea of modesty” in their conversation, said Hammond. “She said, ‘If women can’t blush, we’re in trouble.’”

“The more she started talking about modesty, I said, ‘That should be your next book.’ She laughed and said, ‘Nobody’s going to listen to an old lady like me.’ She said, ‘Somebody like you needs to write that book — with your background in modeling, and you’re young and attractive.’”

Hammond was hesitant. “It holds you to a whole different standard,” she said. After praying about it in adoration, she started writing. During the course of the project, Hammond also realized she needed to improve her own wardrobe to fit the standards of modesty that she was writing about.

“I had to go shopping — what a wonderful excuse!” she joked.

In “Dressing with Dignity,” Hammond explains the hormonal differences between men and women in regard to dressing in a respectful manner. While women tend to gravitate more toward emotions, men are generally visual in their perception of others, she said.

“We can’t understand hormonally what they go through,” she said. “When they see a woman, we think she may not be provocatively dressed. But for them, a glimpse of something will trigger their thoughts in a more ‘marital’ frame of mind.

That’s where an individual’s dignity is lost, she noted. “When you take something so holy and sacred as the marital embrace and flaunt it and use it an abuse it, we’ve lost that dignity of the human person.”

Hammond said she receives e-mails from men and women — young and older — who are grateful for her book. “Men are so appreciative of the fact that somebody has taken their side. They feel so attacked.”

But dressing modestly does not mean one has to look “frumpy,” she added.

Hammond’s website (colleenhammond.com) offers tips for dressing modestly, which are based on guidelines issued by the Vatican’s Congregation of the Council in the 1930s.

“The Vatican’s guidelines are very reasonable,” she said. “Pope Pius XI said it’s OK to follow the fashions as long as they stay within the guidelines. You don’t have to look frumpy to prove holiness.”

Maria Everding, a local etiquette consultant who also provides guidance to young women participating in the Pure Fashion program in St. Louis explained that the way a person dresses can leave a good — or bad — impression with others.

The member of St. Anthony of Padua Parish in South St. Louis, who has authored numerous books on etiquette, noted that a person’s appearance at Mass should be as equally important as it is in the business world.

Even in her youth, Everding said, “we always had to dress up for church. It was someplace special to go to.” Today, Everding said she continues to wear only dresses or skirts to Mass, but she acknowledged that women who wear dress trousers, as long as they don’t fit too tight, are just as appropriate.

At Mass, “you are going to visit the Lord,” she said. “If he comes to me in my home, I’ll probably have on a shirt and shorts. But it is His home, and I’m going to dress appropriately.”

Hammond explained that when a person begins to display an exterior sense of modesty, it is natural that one will begin to feel the same way on the interior.

“The two have to go hand in hand,” she said. “If a woman is dressed modestly, but she is acting in a provocative manner, her actions mock how she is dressed. When a woman dresses modestly, her interior changes.”

Reading Resources

Numerous books, articles and websites delve into the topic of modesty. Here are a few selections:

• “Love and Responsibility,” by Karol Wojtyla. Within this book, the late Pope John Paul II provides an understanding of the nature of modesty. The book also provides an explanation of family life and sexual morality from the Catholic tradition. ($16.95; Ignatius Press)
• “Dressing with Dignity (Second Edition),” by Colleen Hammond. The former model and TV meteorologist challenges indecent fashion tends found in today’s society and presents a dignified approach to dressing modestly. ($10; TAN Books & Publishers)
• Hammond also offers a list of modest clothing stores at her website, colleenhammond.com/modesty-resources.php.
• “The Modesty Handbook,” by Donald P. Goodman III. Relying on the words of St. Thomas Aquinas and the fathers of the Church, the book provides a concise explanation of the Catholic virtue of modesty. (Goretti Publications; A free PDF version is available at gorpub.freeshell.org/modesty.pdf)
• “All Things Girl: Modern and Modest,” by Teresa Tomeo, Molly Miller and Monica Cops. Part of the “All Things Girl” series, this book uses the words of Pope John Paul II to explain how modesty affects young women from the inside and out. (Bezalel Books; $19.99)
• “Sexy Fashions: What do Men Think?” by Mike Mathews. (Article available free at lovematters.com)
• “The Beauty of Modesty for Men and Women,” by Donald DeMarco. (Article available free at lovematters.com)
• Catholic Modesty online (catholicmodesty.com) offers quotes from the Church on the topic, links to modest clothing websites and other books and other books and articles.