Feeling Stuck? 7 Strategies to Get Back on Track

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Feeling Stuck? 7 Strategies to Get Back on Track

Feeling stuck or trapped in a rut? Today is the day for you!

It was Laurence J. Peter who said, “A rut is just the grave with the ends knocked out.” If you’re feeling like you’re in a rut, tell me where you’re at! Where are you stuck?a rut is a grave with the ends knocked out

This is something I want to address more often because with my private coaching clients, it comes up a lot.

We get in our heads, get stuck in worry, have trouble making decisions, are afraid to change something, we’re paralyzed with fear. This happens with everyone.

Oftentimes, when we get stuck, we’re waiting for something externally to happen. “If only this would happen, then I could move forward.”

Change comes from within! You need to start with change within yourself before you’ll start to see things happening.

Do you want to be one of those people that life happens to, or do you want to make life happen? That is something to consider.

Change happens when you make a change, so I’m going to talk about seven things you can do to help yourself get unstuck and move forward (and a little bonus item)! When you decide to make a change, things happen, don’t they?

Number one: Gratitude.

Two emotions cannot exist within your head at the same time because they are different chemical reactions. So, when you find yourself feeling stuck or depressed, focus on gratitude instead!two emotions cant exist in your brain at the same time

Do this as practice: Right now, think of something you can be thankful for. Health, home, job, car, family, faith, friends, children? What are you thankful for today?

It is also helpful to remember that there is a difference between pain and suffering. Where pain is an actual physical reaction in your body, suffering is a story you tell yourself in your head.

I always go back to that quote from ‘The Princess Bride’, “You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.”

This happens all the time, someone may say they feel threatened when they only feel uncomfortable. Are you truly in physical pain? You may be.

I had breast cancer last year so I know pain, but suffering was the story I told myself. I found myself wallowing, “Boohoo, woe is me!”

It is easy to get caught up in that and I did, at times. I won’t lie, we’re all human and it is a real thing.

But try to focus on gratitude instead. It may not take away the physical feeling of pain, but it will release endorphins into your bloodstream. What are endorphins? Painkillers!

Another trick is to put a pen in your mouth and walk around like that for two minutes doing odd jobs. It forces your face into a smile and triggers endorphins!

So, gratitude and misery cannot exist at the same time, and gratitude is much healthier.

Forgive yourself for past mistakes.

Apologize if you need to apologize and learn from it. Forgive yourself and move on, because that could be a cloud hanging over your head.

Are you blaming yourself for things turning out differently than you wanted?

Sometimes we get a God complex and we blame ourselves for things that happen. If you are angry at someone and wish they get a flat tire, and then they get a ticket and you feel guilty for it… did you really do that?

If you think your thoughts are that powerful, focus your thoughts on awesome, positive things!

Joy is a decision. Peace is a decision. Happiness is a decision. It doesn’t happen to you, it happens when you make it happen, so forgive yourself and move on!

Number two: Change your perspective!

Once you release your grip on the past, you will be able to see your current reality in different ways. Mediate, learn to refocus on things that are happening in the present in a different way.

Have your alone time, travel, do something different. Even if it’s just part of your daily activities: Change where you sit, move your furniture, go to a new grocery store, visit a new gym, switch up your workout routine.

Changing the little things will help you change the prospective of what’s in your life.

Number three: Start with small things.

its the accumulation of little things that add up to big change Don’t try to change the world, or change everything at once. To get out of a rut, all you need to focus on are the tiny things.

Change your morning routine, if you have one.

In my Gorgeous Within group, our gorgeous gals were working on a new morning routine this week, writing down their current morning routines and deciding what to do differently.

Brush your teeth three times a day instead of twice, make new friends, meet new people. Every choice you make matters, so make it a positive, good one.

Sometimes we are tempted to skip the small things, but don’t!

It’s the accumulation of little things that add up to big change.

 

Number four: Explore your purpose.

Everything in the universe has a purpose. You are not here by accident, you are not reading this blogpost by accident, you are not on this planet by accident.

As a Christian, I don’t believe God looked down and wondered, “Where did that person come from?” No, He has a purpose for you. What is it?

If you aren’t sure, pray, meditate, think about it. It may not be to be in the public eye, but behind the scenes people are irreplaceable! Your purpose does not have to be some huge thing. Maybe it’s helping someone overcome sadness right now.

Perhaps you’re exceptionally good at putting a smile on someone’s face. How many people really smile at you during the day, and how does it make you feel? It’s important!

You could have a purpose to protect animals, or to raise children. “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” If you do have children, don’t be focused on another purpose. Your children ARE your purpose.what makes you so absored that you lose track of time what makes you feel good and inspired

Stepping onto my soapbox for a moment: We are so focused on other things, we are not forming our young adults properly and giving them that step-up in life that they need.

Consequently, we look around and wonder where all these selfish people came from. Hello!

But trying to find your life’s purpose: What makes you so absorbed that you lose track of time, what are you good at, what makes you feel inspired?

What made you happy in the past, and what makes you happy now?

Start thinking about these things because as our life goes on, our purpose may change.

As the Dowager Countess from Downton Abbey says, “A change is as good as a rest.”

 

Number five: Believe in yourself.

Trust that you can reach the expectations and goals that you have set. Make a list of your strengths and positive traits.

I meet so many people that focus on the negative of themselves. No, tell me the positive things!

What do you like about yourself, your business, the clothing in your closet, your body type? Remember that you are capable!

Think about things that you’ve succeeded at in the past. You are a survivor because you are here right now, because we’ve all had to overcome something. No one lives a perfect life.

Remember that when you look at other people—they aren’t showing you the messy parts of their lives, but they have them. Look at the incredibly successful people who commit suicide.

From the outside, they have everything, but we are all dealing with something.

Number six: Practice being hopeful!

Life has many disappointments, so don’t expect so much! Don’t expect perfection because is that really realistic?

Maybe you’re experiencing the natural protectiveness of pessimism, so your expectations are so low you have no hope.

hope isnt a permanent state we walk around it must be worked on Overstretching our expectations and being so pessimistic to protect ourselves from harm and disappointment, results in us just walking around depressed. There is happy medium—hope is in the middle.

Meditation, prayer, reading inspirational books, listening to inspirational speakers can help.

I was listening to Chalene Johnson the other day and she said that she isn’t on SnapChat first thing in the morning because her priority is herself!

She picks out an inspirational thing to listen to in the morning (the night before), she isn’t on social media, checking her email, etc.

She’s fixing that space between her ears, and that is what we all have to focus on.

You do not walk around hopeful all the time, you need to work on it.

Number seven: Change your diet.

There are many foods that have been associated with negative thoughts and feelings. Removing wheat, dairy, and sugar could help.

Do it for a minimum of three days so it can work through your system and see what happens!

Bonus tip: Consider speaking with a professional or your pastor.as humans we are very social creatures by nature and not meant to face life alone

There is no shame in that. As humans, we are very social creatures by nature and we aren’t meant to face life alone.

Sometimes, just turning to someone in your life that you love and trust and saying, “I need help” is the most powerful step that you can take to get out of a rut.

Recap.

Focus on gratitude. Wallowing cannot exist in your brain at the same time.

Change your perspective by doing something different in your routine.

Make small changes.

Get in touch with your life’s purpose through meditation, prayer, or reading.

Believe in yourself and define previous successes. If you know what you’ve overcome in the past, you know you can overcome it again.

Help other people.

Change your diet.

And, your bonus: Talk to a professional.

If you felt this was helpful and you know someone who would benefit from this, please share it with them. Smile at someone today, and remember to be positive!

 

Which Perfume how to pick the perfect perfume colleen hammond

Perfume Part 2: Perfume Notes and the Fragrance Wheel

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Perfume Part 2: Perfume Notes and the Fragrance Wheel

In Part 1, we covered the basics of perfume. (you can read it or watch the video on my blog here.)

Part 2 can be viewed at the bottom of this article, or click here to watch it on YouTube.
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How many people have beat you over the head when they walk into a room? They’re 50 feet away but you can smell what they’re wearing. This happens when someone shouts their fragrance instead of whispering it!Fragrance discovered not annouced

Oftentimes, people become so accustomed to their perfume that they don’t realize how much they are covering themselves with.

It is important not to overdo it, to know what notes you’re dealing with, and how strong they are.

What are notes?

Top notes, middle notes, and base notes are components of every fragrance. Knowing the difference between them is important when choosing between cheap or expensive perfumes.

Sometimes referred to as head notes, top notes are the lighter, more volatile notes that evaporate more quickly.

Top notes are light first impressions of fragranceThey are the first impressions of a fragrance, usually citrusy aromas, and will last between 5-30 minutes — depending on the quality of the perfume.

Medium notes, often referred to as the heart notes, make up the body of the fragrance blend. Although you may detect them when you first put on your scent, it usually takes about 30 minutes for someone to notice the heart notes.

As the central part of your signature scent, these notes are the ones that usually classify which family your perfume belongs to.

Base notes have the greatest molecular weight. They are the aromatic part of your perfume that slows down the evaporation rate and makes the fragrance last longer.

Scents like oakmoss, patchouli, wood, musk, and vanilla are common base notes in fragrances.

Perfume and StyleDo I need to match perfume to outfit

A question I receive often is, “Do you match your perfume to what you’re wearing?” For example, if you are wearing a floral print or pattern, do you wear more of a Floral scent?

The answer is no. Each scent comes with a personality.

I am in the process of developing a quiz so you will be able to see what perfume scent indicates your personality!

Just like your Style Personality with the clothing you wear, you will have a primary, secondary, and tertiary personality type with fragrance.

Orientals may be your favorite with a secondary inclination for Florals.

And each of the scents on the Fragrance Wheel all blend together, somewhat like the color wheel.  Once you learn about the scents, you will realize how complex your personal tastes really are.

The Fragrance Wheel

What is the Fragrance Wheel? It really holds the key to all your favorite fragrances, comprised of 14 different families that all lead to one another. Florals become soft Florals, soft Florals translate into Floral Orientals, and so on.

What are the differences between the fragrances?

Florals are your fresh notes. They include fresh cut flowers, or the softer Floral notes. Making our way around the fragrance wheel, you have a Floral Oriental with more orange blossom and sweet spicy smells. And a soft Oriental is mostly Oriental with a little bit of Floral, such as incense or amber.

The second main group of fragrances is Orientals, which include resins such as frankincense and vanilla. As you move around the wheel, you see an Oriental Woody fragrance, which is like sandalwood and patchouli that I mentioned earlier.

Further around, you get into Agarwood (or OUD), which actually cannot be purchased in the States — but they smell truly amazing.

Vetiver and moss are signatures off the Woody notes. As you move around the Fragrance Wheel, the Woody Orientals are oakmoss and amber. And finally, the true dry woods have a distinct scent of wood, leather, and the more musky smells.

Finally, lavender and herbs are signatures of Fresh notes. Sweet, spicy Orientals are across the wheel from Fresh scents, and Fresh Florals are more of an aquatic, watery scent.

Fresh, green notes are an herby smell. And finally, you will get into fruity smells, such as berries and other non-citrus fruits.In the corporate world you dont want to wear a fragrance that sends the wrong impression

As you can see, they gradually all blend into one another and there are thousands upon thousands of different kinds of perfume. I have developed a course on perfumes, in which I really break them all down bit by bit.

The e-book links to all the different colognes and perfumes that fall into those families too. I also include more information on what kinds of perfumes are appropriate for different occasions.

Send the Right Message

If you’re attending a business meeting or your husband’s work party, should it determine which fragrance you apply?

The answer is yes.

The perfume you wear will always send a subconscious message, and you want the right message to be sent.

Should I wear scent I like or a scent my partner likesFruity, flowery smelling perfumes tend to give an impression of sex appeal, rather than professionalism.

Due to this, I often advise female clients to wear men’s cologne when working with men.

Fragrances smell different on everyone, so a “men’s cologne” will not smell the same on a man as it will on a woman.

Somewhat along those lines, many people ask what to do if they and their partner disagree on fragrance preferences.

Because you eventually get desensitized to your own personal scent, I generally advise wearing the perfume that your partner prefers.

After all, they will be the one who notices the smell day after day.

Proper Storage

The higher the quality and more expensive the perfume, the longer it is going to last. The cheaper a fragrance is, the shorter its shelf life is, lasting about a year. However, even quality items need to be treated well to last, right?

Your top-shelf perfume oils can still go rancid and break down over time, so it is important to keep them in a cool, dry, dark space and avoid heat and light.Like anything you want to keep you need to store your perfumes in proper place

Oftentimes, it is tempting to keep your pretty bottle of perfume on the counter, but hide it away! Even direct exposure to air can cause your fragrance to break down and the scent to be ruined.

As a final tip, keep in mind things you need to avoid with your perfume, such as heat. Don’t rub your wrists together after applying your fragrance. You cause friction, which is heat!

Be aware, spraying a cloud of perfume and walking into it is not effective either.

What really makes the scent stay on our bodies is the oil, and oil drops fast. By the time you walk into the cloud, you’ve lost the vital part of your scent.

Apply your fragrance to your pulse points, and always remember: dab, don’t rub!

What is YOUR favorite perfume?

 

 

 

 

Classic Style Personality

What Do the Clothes You Wear “Say” About You?

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What Do the Clothes You Wear “Say” About You?

What we wear is a reflection of our Style Personality — our “inner self” — that other people will read about us (ah-HEM: that means JUDGE us).

Yes, we are judged by the clothing we wear! It may not seem fair, but it’s true.

However, the clothing you choose to pull out of the closet and put on every morning is an inner reflection of your personality — it’s called your Style Personality! Style-personality-tops-Colleen-Hammond

  • What types of clothing are you most comfortable and confident wearing?
  • How would you like to be perceived?
  • What personality traits would you like others to know about you?

Your personality traits are closely aligned with the style of clothing, the fabrics, details, jewelry, and other accessories that you choose.

Take a look at this picture. Which one of these tops are your drawn to? Which one would you wear? That could be your Primary Style Personality.

Which other one(s) draw your eye? Those could be your Secondary and Tertiary Style Personalities.

How you mix and match them will say a lot about you to those who see you.

Take the free quiz to determine your Primary Style Personality. Which one is yours?

Why Clothing Matters

Numerous studies have shown that people who are attractive earn more money, get better jobs, and have more opportunities available to them.

Notice that the studies say ‘attractive’ not ‘beautiful’.

You can present yourself more attractively by learning how to dress in a way that honors your personality, flatters your body type, choose the best colors for your skin/hair/eyes, etc…

Learn how to shorten your morning routine, reduce stress, and streamline “getting ready” in the morning. Read 5 Steps to a Perfect Morning Routine!

 

All About Perfume Tips Tricks Tools Colleen Hammond

Perfume Secrets! Tips, Tricks, and Tools EVERYONE Should Know!

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Perfume Secrets!

Perfume tips, tricks, and tools everyone should know.

A fragrance should be whispered, not shouted…

Are you still wearing the same perfume you wore in high school? Has it become an old scent, instead of a signature scent?

Times change. There are new perfumes and new things to learn! So, if you want to move on and discover your true signature scent, or perhaps buy a gift for someone, you’re in the right place!

Today, we’re going to learn all about perfume, fragrance, cologne, scent… What is it?

(Below is the video — subscribe to my YouTube channel and click the “bell” to be informed when new videos are released!)

 

History of Perfume

Before we dive in, let’s take a look at some of the history of perfume (coming from the Latin, ‘perfumare’ and the French, ‘parfum’, meaning ‘to smoke through’) with the Greeks.

Originally, pleasant smells were a reminder to the Greeks of their gods’ proximity, or that they were being blessed with the fragrance. It was important to them as a means of hospitality as well, and when a guest arrived in their home, they would bathe their feet in perfumed oils, and even practiced aromatherapy.

Bathing rituals were also important in their culture, as they were very clean people and pleasant smells were so closely tied to their beliefs. In fact, fragrances and oils were so important to the Greeks that they used them in ceremonies for birth, death, romance, and weddings.

In weddings, special scents were thought to be a good omen that would ensure a positive union between the man and wife.

Funerals were defined by the Greeks using perfumes on the shrouds in which they wrapped the bodies of their dead. They believed that if the bodies smelled good to their gods, they would be more graciously welcomed into the afterlife.Greeks perfume gods afterlife Colleen Hammond

The true art of making perfumes originally started in Ancient Greece and Mesopotamia, where the first recorded chemist was a woman named Tapputi. Distilling flowers, oils, and other aromatics was what she did first, then she would filter it and distill it over and over to make her fragrances and scents.

She spread her knowledge and the Greeks had a great system of distilling their fragrances. However, later on, the Romans and Persians perfected many of those arts.

Evolution of Perfume

It wasn’t until the 16th and 17th centuries that the true modern idea of perfume began to form.

The belief that perfume is used to mask body odors came from this time period because wealthy people who had access to everything they wanted did not take the time to bathe. Because of this, they would spend their money on scented oils, and used it to cover up their body odor instead of bathing.

Giovanni Maria Farina, a perfume maker from Italy, who was living in Germany, became one of the biggest influences on modern perfume. From his home in Germany, he wrote to his brother, Jean Baptiste, who still resided in Italy, and said, “I have found a fragrance that reminds me of an Italian spring morning, of mountain daffodils and orange blossoms after the rain.”Eau de Cologne citrus spring rain Colleen Hammond

Inspired by this, he named his fragrance ‘Eau de Cologne’, in honor of the town he was living in: Cologne, Germany.

‘Eau de Cologne’-the Many Meanings

‘Eau’ is also a French word, meaning ‘water’, so the name for this fragrance would roughly mean, ‘Water of Cologne’. As you can see, that’s the origin of the modern term ‘cologne’, but it has really come to have three different meanings.

Originating from Farina, the first meaning of the word is just any fragrance that is citrus-based, since that is the original meaning of Eau de Cologne.

As time went on, the second meaning of cologne came along. It was then understood to be a lighter, less-concentrated interpretation of an existing perfume.

Where the first definition was just a scent of a citrus base, now it has evolved into an idea of a more diluted product that is more cost-effective. Not everyone could afford heavy oils, so this lighter product was available to more people.

Finally, the third meaning of cologne is how we tend to use it now: exclusively a man’s fragrance. So, the three different meanings that have evolved over the years all came from an Italian man living in Germany, who was reminded of his hometown.

Power of Fragrance

Today, we have discovered that fragrance is 150,000 times more powerful than vision, which the perfume industry has really built itself around—the power of fragrance.Fragrance is more powerful than vision Colleen Hammond

Different scents can elicit different emotions, such as feelings of power, relaxation, or sexual desire; they can warn us of food gone bad, of a fire coming, etc.

Pleasant smells are also closely tied to a woman’s decision of how worthy a man is of being her partner. In a conversation with my friend one day, she said that, “I love how my husband smells—not his cologne or anything, I just love cuddling up next to him at night. I love how he smells.” So, you may not realize it, but pheromones and natural scents are very powerful.

Smells can also have an impact on your job performance.

Just as the Greeks used oils for aromatherapy, researchers discovered that certain smells will help you focus better, such as peppermint. It’s proven to increase alertness, improve performance, and sustain attention over time.

Another powerful scent is lavender. It’s helpful for relaxation, and people  find someone more trustworthy if they enter a room smelling like lavender!Certain smells hope you focus Colleen Hammond

Pleasant scents are powerfully associated with memories, like grandma’s house, baking bread, chocolate chip cookies, etc… Smelling something musty and being reminded of helping grandpa out with a job in the basement is an indicator of how powerful the sense of smell truly is.

Why Perfume Costs Vary

So, what are the differences between all the perfumes we see at the store?

You could see something for $400 an ounce, $58 an ounce, or $48 an ounce. What’s the difference? It depends on how they are distilled, whether it’s in alcohol, water, or oil.

Now we’ll look at the differences between Eau Fraiche, Eau de Cologne, Eau de Toilette (which means ‘cloth’), Eau de Parfum, and true Parfum.

Least Expensive Fragrances

Eau Fraiche—Often referred to as ‘mist’, ‘splash’, and ‘aftershave’, this will probably last you about an hour. It consists of 3% or less perfume oils or aromatics.

Oftentimes, this is more popular among men than women, since they use it as a balm for their skin after shaving. Eau Fraiche is also alcohol based, so it will help in closing pores.

The oiliness of your skin determines how long a scent will last. Perfumes last longer the oiler your skin is, so if you have oily skin or put moisturizer on after a shower, your fragrance will last about 2 hours.Oils on skin make fragrance last Colleen Hammond

However, if your skin is dry, it may only last about 15-20 minutes.

Eau de Cologne—A little more concentrated than Eau Fraiche, EDC will last 1-3 hours. It is 3-8% perfume oils or aromatics and is very common.

Because of the lightweight nature of this product, you can use it all over the place—neck, inner elbow, wrist, behind the knee, maybe even behind the ear or over the heart.

However, if you wear a fragrance for a while, you grow used to the fragrance and don’t smell it anymore, so be careful not to form a Pig Pen cloud and throw yourself into it.You don’t want to be so smelly that your odor is a slap in the face as soon as you enter a room.

Be careful, too, of rubbing your wrists together after applying your scent. They do this often in movies, but when you use friction, it raises the temperature, denatures the scent, breaks it down and destroys it. Remember to apply very lightly in tiny dots!

Higher-End Fragrances

Eau de Toilette—Generally the strongest men’s concentration you will find, at 5-15% perfumed oils or aromatics, it will last from 3-5 hours. Apply this at the neck, wrists, and behind the knee. Because of the concentration, be sure to use tiny dots and dab, don’t rub!

Eau de Parfum—Far more concentrated than the rest, sitting anywhere from 10-20% perfumed oils and aromatics, this will last you about 3-5 hours.

With this higher concentration, sometimes you start paying for the name so the prices will vary. All you need with this perfume is two spots: a dot at the neck and then the wrist, or behind the ear and the wrist. Remember, don’t overdo it!

Parfum—With 40% perfume oils or aromatic compounds, this is very rare. Since it’s a pure perfume oil and not alcohol based, you’re going to pay very good money for this.

They come in tiny, $400 bottles. Very expensive, but very concentrated and will last you about 12-15 hours. You could either spend $50 on an Eau Fraiche and reapply it all day, or spend $400 on an Eau de Parfum or Parfum oil and it will last you forever!

Again, with the oil, you only want a dab in two spots because it is so concentrated and you don’t want to go overboard with it.

There you have it—everything from Eau Fraiche, to Eau de Cologne, to Eau de Toilette, to Eau de Parfum, to a perfume oil. As they increase in concentration, the price will also increase, but so will the value and quality.

Always remember when putting on your signature scent in the morning, a fragrance should be discovered, not announced; it should be whispered, not shouted.

top ten toxic people to remove from your life

Top 10 Toxic People to Remove From Your Life

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Top 10 Toxic People to Remove From Your Life

You’re the product of the five people you spend the most time with. If you allow even one of those five people to be toxic, you give them the power to destroy you. Today on Coffee with Colleen, I’ll show you how to spot the top ten types of Toxic people.

Learn how to identify them by downloading this eBook here.

Being exposed to toxic people causes your brain to have a massive stress response. And stress can have long-lasting negative impacts on not just your brain but your overall health. Toxic people don’t just make you miserable they make you sick and dumber.

 

  1. The Critic. Critics may constantly insult your beliefs, appearance, and thoughts because they have low self-esteem and want to be in control. However, judgmental people stifle your desire to be a passionate, expressive person, so you’re best off cutting them out and being yourself.
  2. The Gossip. If they’re talking about others, they’re talking about YOU. Gossipers derive pleasure from other people’s misfortunes. But there are too many positives out there and too much to learn from interesting people.  So don’t waste your time talking about the misfortune of others.
  3. The Temperamental. Some people have absolutely no control over their emotions and should grow in Emotional Intelligence. Because their lack of control over their emotions makes you feel bad for them, Temperamental people are tough to dump from your life.
  4. The Victim. Victims are tough to identify because you initially empathize with their problems. But as time passes, you realize their “time of need” is all the time.

  5. The Self-Absorbed. You can usually tell when you’re hanging around self-absorbed people because you start to feel completely alone. They stonewall (which means they refuse communication to evade the issue). You’re merely a tool used to build their self-esteem, which can cause you to harbor feelings of resentment and guilt. If you are trying to communicate with a person you know well and he or she refuses to be honest and open with you, you may want to reconsider why you are in that relationship in the first place.
  6. The Envious. To them, the grass is always greener somewhere else. Even when something great happens to envious people, they don’t derive any satisfaction from it.  They cause you to trivialize your own accomplishments the longer you’re around them.
  7. The Passive-Aggressive. The most common examples include repeatedly keeping you waiting or making you late for an appointment. By denying your feelings, sarcasm, and backhanded compliments help you identify a passive-aggressive person.
  8. The Black Hole. When a Black Hole enters the room, it goes dark, people get cold, and they begin to recall their worst memories. They see the glass as half empty, and they can inject fear and concern into innocent situations.
  9. The Twisted. These people are either out to hurt you get something from you. They may want to make you feel bad as they derive satisfaction from your misery and pain. However, they are easy to spot, so The Twisted are simple to get out of your life!
  10. The Arrogant Narcissist. The narcissist (a personality disorder) acts like he or she is God’s gift to the universe, knows everything, is the best at everything—and is not afraid to tell you so. But you will never be able to measure up in their eyes. They’re always competing, refuse to compromise, and lack empathy. 
Colleen Hammond 7 tips to always be on time

7 Tips to Always Be on Time!

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Be on Time!

Are you on time? 20% of people are chronically late. And the other 80% are impacted by them!

On this episode of Coffee with Colleen, I offered you seven tips to always be on time!

Do you know people who are chronically late? I do. The people you always know are going to be late. The ones who you tell you’re leaving at 3 pm, when in reality you plan to leave at 4 pm?
20 percent of people are late and 80 are impacted
Most chronically late people don’t do it on purpose. Most of them don’t enjoy being late. Very rarely do people think, “Yeah, I’m going to be late on purpose so I can make an entrance!”

If that’s the case, then there are other issues going on with them!

Experts say that being consistently late sends a message to your friends, your family, your co-workers, the people you’re trying to impress that you are:

  1. Easily distracted
  2. Disorganized
  3. Egotistical
  4. Inconsiderate

My dad raised us, God rest his soul, to always be 15 minutes early.

Does that mean you show up and knock on someone’s door 15 minutes early?

NO!

You plan to arrive 15 minutes early in case there’s traffic. In case you have a flat tire. In case you hit every red light along the way.
vince lombardi time be 15 minutes early
And if you do get there 15 minutes early, guess what? You can sit down the block, or in the parking lot, and do some meditation. Answer some e-mail. Check your Facebook. Do whatever other little things need to be done.

Dad raised us to show consideration for other people by always being there when you say you’re going to be there.

To help you do that, here are seven tips to always be on time.

Number 1: Admit it if you tend to run late.

It’s frustrating when some people won’t accept the responsibility that they tend to run late. They’ll blame circumstances — like their children or the traffic.

If you’re occasionally late — and, of course, if it’s true — you can use those excuses.

But consider this: when’s the last time you were on time? Are you “on time” only half the time?

If you’re not sure, ask family and friends, “Hey, am I late? Or am I on time?”

They’ll tell you if they love you.

Number two: Determine “why” you’re late.

Find out why you’re chronically missing the time-slot!being late Disorganized Egotistical Inconsiderate disorganized

Some people are adrenaline junkies. They get high on all that racing around or running around from event to event on their calendar.

They get a rush from rushing around!

It may also be your temperament. So check out The Four Temperaments course. 

Find out your temperament!

Other times, people use their time as a power play. That’s just about being egotistical. These people think, “I am so important that other people will wait for me.” So they will be late on purpose.

Sometimes you’re late because you’re chronically overbooked. You have too much on your calendar so you can’t get from one event to the next without being late because you have too much going on.

Or it may be bad time management. There’s also my course, Putting Your Day on Autopilot

That course is currently closed. But I teach how to have most of your day “done for you” by developing routines.

Number three. Stop poly-tasking!

You’ve heard of multitasking? There’s really no such thing. It’s Poly-Tasking! It’s more than doing two or three things at the same time — we’re trying to do 18 things at the same time!

You’re trying to do way too many things. So the first step is to learn to say “No.”

So people who multitask, or poly-task, are usually the ones that are late.

Some people say, “Yes, but I can multitask!”

We’re fooling ourselves. Because your brain cannot think of two things at the exact same time.
20 minutes to regain peak focus
It’s like saying you’re going to look at one wall on your right, and at the same time that you’re looking at the wall on the opposite side of the room.

You can glace back and forth between the two walls rapidly in a millisecond. But you can not focus on two walls at the same time.

It’s the same thing with your brain. Your brain can’t focus on two things at the same time.

Some studies say that once you’re focused on something and you’re distracted, it takes up to 20 minutes for your brain to get to peak focus again on that same topic.

Put down your electrical devices and prioritize! Put “being on time” in your “Urgent and important” quadrant (which we talk about in the Auto Pilot course). Make being on time urgent and important.

Number four. Preparation. Routines. Rituals. Habits.

Prepare to be on time, put it on your list, and make it a priority. Set a timer.

There are so many different apps — whether it be your maps app on your phone, or the Waze app — that if you put in your address and the time you want to be there, the Waze app will tell you when to leave.everything has a place and everything in its place

Use electronics to help you to be on time. 

Prepare. Make sure that you’re not running around like a chicken with your head cut off, as grandma used to say, at the last minute looking for your keys.

Everything has a place, and everything needs to be put back in its place.

Put your keys, your wallet, or your purse in the same spot. Decide what you’re going to wear the night before.

Number five. Murphy’s Law.

You know Murphy’s Law: if something could go wrong, it will. Prepare for running into traffic. That there may be an accident. That you will hit all the red lights along the way.

If you prepare for that ahead of time, you’ll know that you need to leave early and prepare it.

Plan on being there 15-minutes early so that you can sit in the driveway (or sit down the road) and answer email.

Number Six. No “magical thinking”.

Some people are very optimistic (some say “unrealistic”) and that’s why they’re late.

They’re overbooked, and still say, “Oh, I can do it!” beware of magical thinking and add 20 percent

The truth is, they lack time management. They’re adrenaline junkies run around a lot at the last minute but still say, “No problem. I can be there.”

Even if it’s an hour away, they may say they’ll be there in 20 minutes.

Be careful of this “magical thinking” and instead assume things are going to take you 20% longer to accomplish.

This also means deadlines: like a writer’s deadline, or a deadline for a project at work.

Like this scene from Star Trek:

 

Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Yeah, well, I told the Captain I’d have this analysis done in an hour.

Scotty: How long will it really take?

Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: An hour!

Scotty: Oh, you didn’t tell him how long it would *really* take, did ya?

Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Well, of course I did.

Scotty: Oh, laddie. You’ve got a lot to learn if you want people to think of you as a miracle worker.

Researchers call it “planning fallacy”.  People tend to underestimate how long a task is going to take them. Probably because we have “magical thinking” — optimistic thinking that we can get it done if nothing goes wrong.

For example. This morning I knew that in normal circumstances, I can get ready for this show in 20 minutes. But this morning, since it’s been a month since I’ve done the show, I planned a full hour! And it’s a good thing I did, too, because many things went wrong.

So if you think something’s going to take you 30-minutes, give an extra 20 percent and plan 36 to 40 minutes.

Number seven. It’s OK to be early.

Usually, that’s the first thing that somebody says to me: “Yeah, but if I plan to be there 15-minutes early, isn’t that rude?”

Well, yes — If you went into their house!

Being early doesn’t mean going in. You can sit in the parking lot. You can call your mother. Or send your mom a text. (I’m sure she’d appreciate that!) Or do some self-care by setting your timer and doing some meditation. Sit in the car and meditate instead of playing video games on your phone!

It could be time for you just to sit, take some deep breaths, and relax.

What do you do to help you be on time?

 
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Happiness! The 10 Traits of Happy People

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Happiness: The 10 Traits of Happy People!

Today is Part Two of “Happiness”! (Here is Part 1).

In this video, I go over the 10 traits of happy people. 

NOTE: Subscribe to my YouTube channel by clicking here, then click the bell!

What are the 10 traits of happy people? How do they do things differently? How do they view things differently?

Bottom line? 

And always remember the pen trick! (Go to 1:07 in the video for more information!)

But your decision to smile will actually help you be happier.

But why? What is it about happy people? How do they think differently and what did they do?

Number one. They have a strong connection with their social fabric of people that they know.

Studies show that online friends are okay, but it’s those face-to-face interactions with real live human beings that matter. Not artificial intelligence BOTS. Not online, social media friendships. But real, face-to-face interactions.

Happy people also stay connected with their families. I love the George Burns saying:Happiness is having a large family that lives in another city

“Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family that lives in another city.” 

Having that connection to your neighbors, your place of worship, and your personal friendships. They have been shown to act as a buffer to depression and creating those strong meaningful connections with people that help you not be depressed.

The rates of depression and people who are depressed are increasing at a rapid rate. Matter of fact, the World Health Organization says by 2020, depression will be the second leading cause of death by suicide.

SHOCKING!

The disconnection from family, the disconnection from community, the disconnection from those in your place of worship. That disconnection actually leads to a higher incidence of depression. So have an in-person family, friends, a knit community that you can turn to.

Number two. They engage in activities that fit their strengths, their values, and their lifestyles.

They’re out in the world using their God-given strengths. Using their talents. Participating in society.

For example. When you have a goal for physical health and you get out and exercise. Happy people do the same thing with their emotional goals — of how they want to think and behave.

It’s engaging in activities that fit your strengths and your values.

Number three. Gratitude.

Having a grateful heart and a grateful mindset can help you cope with trauma and stress. It’s also good for your health!

Focus on at least one thing a day to be grateful for because gratitude dissolves negative emotions.

Practice gratitdue!

When you really feel and think about the things that you’re grateful for, it dissipates the negative emotions. They can’t be there at the same time.

That’s also a character strength of gratitude. Studies have shown that those who practice gratitude (or who are just grateful people in general) have a higher correlation to life satisfaction.

Have you ever read the story of people in concentration camps during World War 2? Or Prisoners of War? The people who had a positive attitude survived.

A deep, soul-searching movie is “The Ninth Day” (Der Neunte Tag).  Here’s the description:

From inside the hell of the Dachau concentration camp “Priest Block,” Father Henri Kremer clings to a fragile life and challenged faith. But Gestapo officer Gebhardt, a young and ruthless lapsed seminarian, arranges a nine day reprieve for the priest. If Fr. Kremer can persuade his staunchly anti-Nazi Bishop to capitulate to Nazi occupation, he’ll go free. But if he fails or tries to escape, death awaits. Torn between duty, faith, fear for his own life and for the lives of his loved ones, in just nine days Kremer must find a way to ease his conscience, protect his family, hold on to his faith and uphold his vows.

It’s an extremely moving story, and (spoilers!) Fr. Kremer ends up going back to the concentration camp. But when he does, he’s now so full of love and peace and gratitude and joy that he starts ministering to everybody else there at the concentration camp.

Being grateful — and having the habit of gratitude — also increases your self-esteem. When you’re grateful, your self-worth and your self-esteem rise. So practice gratitude.

Number four. The habit of thinking optimistically.

Happy people are always trying to look for the best in any situation.

They get rid of pessimism — or rein in pessimism — because they focus their time and energy on things that they do have control over.

What about the things that you have absolutely no control over? Why get all wrapped up in them if you can’t control it?

First, convert it into a problem-solving exercise as opposed to complaining.

Second, move on. Don’t even waste time thinking about it. The road is bumpy at times. But the bumpiness ends eventually and we get on the smooth the road. So let’s just mentally move on from it because this too shall pass.

Third, compartmentalize. Compartmentalize the bad things that you can’t do anything about. And just focusing on the things that you can do something good about.

Smiling releases happy chmicals into your bloodstreamNumber five. Random acts of kindness.

Have you ever done that? Like buying a cup of coffee for somebody behind you in Starbucks. Holding the door for someone. Looking someone in the eye and smiling and saying hello.

Research has shown a strong correlation between helping behavior and people’s health, longevity, and well-being. You feel better just because you made somebody smile. And smiling releases endorphins for both of you, and you’re both happier. What can you do today to a total stranger, knowing that you’ll never get anything back in return? That’s the true definition of “being good and doing good”.

Number six. Understanding that material wealth does not equate to success and true happiness.

It can help. It can make things a little bit more comfortable at times. But that shouldn’t be the be-all-and-end-all goal to accumulate a lot of money. There is a limited number of joyful things that “things” bring to us.

At the end of the Great Depression, a study was done to measure people’s happiness scale. The Happiness Scale was right around 8.0 (on a scale of one to ten). Material Wealth Does Not Equate to Success or Happiness

The Happiness Scale of people in 2015 was 7.2.

“Things” don’t make us happy. Actually, people who strive for money and strive for things to surround themselves with have a lower rate of happiness.

Number 7. Coping strategies.

Similar to compartmentalizing and learning to change things into a problem-solving exercise as opposed to being overwhelmed.

There’s something called Post-Traumatic Growth, which is a positive personal change after a traumatic incident. There are five factors of growth after a challenging event.

  1. A renewed appreciation for life. If you’ve ever had a close brush with death, you have a stronger appreciation for life.
  2. Recognizing that there are new paths in your life. When something horrible happens, you re-evaluate. There are other options you can pursue. Different paths.
  3. Enhanced personal strength. Have you overcome something major? Has something horrible happened in your life, and you lived to tell the story? You are already a survivor! If you did it once you can do it again. There’s nothing that life can throw at you that you can’t handle
  4. Improved relationships with others.
  5. Spiritual growth.

Make sure you take a tragedy and turn it into a symphony!

Number eight. Happy people focus on their physical, mental, and spiritual health. 

Happy people act like happy people because they’re working on their emotions. They’re trying to grow emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. They bring a level of optimism and happiness and engagement into their everyday activities.

It’s like watching a child play with a toy. Or the wonder of seeing something for the first time, like the first time you saw the mountains. Or the first time you saw the ocean or a beautiful sunset. That sense of awe and wonder and joy and happiness. Take that into everything that you do today and see how you feel differently at the end of the day!

Number nine. Happy people cultivate their spirituality.

There is a growing ever-growing body of scientific evidence that says spiritual people are happier people. They’re happier. They’re healthier. They recover faster after trauma. They recover faster after health problems. Having a strong spirituality and faith assists you in every area of your life. It helps you connect to something outside of yourself. To something bigger and understand that, “It Ain’t All About You. It Ain’t All About Me.” We’re part of a bigger network of people and spirituality.

Number ten. Happy people have direction.

They have goals. If you don’t have a target or a goal to aim at, how are you to get there?

Do you plan for vacations? Or do you say, “Hey, let’s hop in the car and go to Disney World, but we don’t have a map. And we don’t know where we are. We don’t know which way to turn and what road to turn on.”

Happy people have values that they care about, and outcomes that they know are worth working for. So having direction and having a goal is essential.

They have that Emotional Intelligence — they’re aware, and they’re working toward it.

Which of these 10 habits and strategies do you currently use? Which ones do you want to work on this next month?

5 Tips to Develop More Gratitude

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Gratitude

We all know about gratitude. How important it is to be grateful, and we do try to be, don’t we?! So on this show, we’ll cover 5 Ways to be More Grateful!!!

5 Ways to Be More Grateful GratitudeFrom “Coffee with Colleen”: A Facebook LIVE program. Want to receive a Facebook Message when I go LIVE? Click here to open Facebook Messenger and send me one word:

remind

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About Colleen

Colleen Hammond mentors people who are ready to transform their digital image, personal image, or business image for success. In 30 days or less, Colleen teaches women how to take the “guessing out of dressing” so that they will look incredible and feel confident every day of their life.

The founder of the Total Image Institute, Colleen is a former on-camera meteorologist for the Weather Channel turned Executive Image Consultant and Personal Brand strategist, coach, and mentor. She helps women craft their personal brand through their clothing choices, manners, and poise to build self-confidence and empower success — because people WILL judge you in less than 7 seconds based solely on what they see!

Clothing choices — What clothing choices are best for your body type, personal coloring, personal style, and the message you want to send? Because different colors, different prints, different patterns, and even pointy-toed shoes all send a specific message.

Body Language skills — learned from an FBI profiler.

Writing and Book publishing — as a best-selling author, Colleen also teaches writing and book publishing.

In front of a camera for over 40 years — first as a model, as Miss Michigan National Teen-Ager, an On-Camera Meteorologist at the Weather Channel, and as an anchor and a reporter. Colleen coaches people on being in front of the camera, and how to produce profession LIVE programming here: bit.ly/obspros

 

 

Manners: Top 25 Manners for Kids, Toddlers, and Adults!

By | Fashion | One Comment

Manners maketh the man!

What are the top manners for kids (children)? For Toddlers? School?Manners Top 25 Manners for Kids, Toddlers, and Adults!

NOTE: Watch the video below! And if you would like a copy of today’s notes, send me a Facebook message by clicking here, and ASK ME FOR THE MANNER’S NOTES!

At their core, etiquette is much more significant than just being able to follow certain rules and regulations in our dealing with others.

It’s an example of our character and virtue —

Our actions actually show and reveal our true heart and our character.

How do we treat others who can do nothing for us in return?

They also give us structure, which is necessary for our Faith and in our lives. Formal manners help make structure second nature. Structure and kindness — or charity — are necessary for a civil and Christian society.

Our goal?

Grab a beverage and settle in to learn more about the Top 25!

Get a text message (or mail) from me when I go LIVE with the direct link to that show. Click here. (If you’re on your mobile, text @ch-live to the number 81010).

How to Have More Energy Part 1

How to Increase Your Energy Levels! (Part 1)

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How to Increase Your Energy Levels!

Do you have energy in the morning? What’s your wake-up routine? How do you wake up? How do you increase your energy? Do you require food, a shower, an energy drink and/or coffee first?

What about when you were a child? Did you spring out of bed immediately, excited for the day? What morning routines, rituals, and habits do you have now?

Do you need More Will Power? (Free eBook: “How To Increase Your Willpower and Make Better Decisions“)

 

Notes:

 

What is energy?

Dictionary: the capacity for vigorous activity; available power.
Science: capacity or power to do work. Moving mass using force.

Work = Force x Distance, which then breaks down to joules.

4.18 joules =1 calorie. Calories are the energy value of FOOD.

Body: calories are needed to make the body work. Too much “energy IN” and not enough energy OUT and you’ll gain weight.

We are talking about our zest—about our vitality. Zest. Joy of life!

Emotions

How do you FEEL about your State in Life? Your job?

Gallup survey indicates that 70 percent of working Americans are either unengaged or actively disengaged with their jobs.

What can we learn from the 30 percent who really WANT to go to work in the mornings?

Sleep

No matter what else you do, no matter your diet, your exercise, or your psychological framework, you cannot power through lack of sleep. Lack of sleep has a strong impact on your body and your mind, and it will catch up with you. Research shows that lack of sleep negatively affects the brain and leads to long-term neurological damage.

Resources

D-Ribose: I personally take 5g, 3-times a day. (NOT MEDICAL ADVICE! Consult your health professional)

Book: “From Fatigued to Fantastic

Book: “The Power of Slow

Meditation

Start today!

Pick a “word of the day” for today!

Coming up in Part 2: SLEEP!

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