If a gal has enough character, intelligence, and personality she doesn’t have to dress trashy to attract a man.
Below are some VERY interesting comments from both men and women on fashion and how ladies dress, how men wish women would have some self-respect, and how they think of ladies (of the evening?) who dress ’sexy’.
Now, why is it that woman want to look ’sexy’ and not ‘elegant’?!?!
Below is from the Fiji Times.
Flesh, clothes, the mind
Ruby-Taylor Newton
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Mini skirts, tight fitting jeans, see through dresses, and flesh revealing skimpy tops – what message are girls and women trying to send when they dress provocatively.
And what do the men around think and feel about this?
Well, of course, male instincts force them to look and many guys will agree that girls with less clothes on are definitely “eye candy” to be enjoyed.
Lina, 23, who usually struts to town in the miniest of shorts and tube tops says all girls want to be seen as beautiful and pretty by the males.
“To be honest, most girls dress to impress the guys,” she says.
Paulini, 20, a school of beauty student says there’s nothing wrong with short tops, stringy blouses or skirts because “that’s fashion”.
“Gosh, we’re into the modern era now and this is how people dress today. What’s wrong with that? If people have a problem with the way we girls dress today, they should just keep it to themselves,” she says.
Angie, 28, a DVD salesgirl in Nausori, says men like to look at girls and women with sexy clothing.
“And the girls like that kind of attention from the boys – many girls like the men to whistle at them or stare at them so that’s why they dress like that,” she says.
Ingrid, is a fashionable and outgoing 23 year-old. Skimpy clothes are not part of her wardrobe.
“No, I don’t ! Do you see me dressing like that? Because it’s just not in my nature – I wasn’t brought up like that.”
“Clothes are for comfort, and it’s nice to be stylish. You definitely can still keep up with fashion and you don’t have to be skimpy to be fashionable,” she says.
“In my opinion, girls and women who dress skimpily for men to ogle over don’t have any self respect or dignity. Anyway, just ask any nice guys if they’re into girls who dress showing off their bodies, they’ll probably say ‘no thanks!’”
Marie, 25, says girls who dress in clothes that reveal too much flesh are either insecure about themselves or lack confidence big time.
“They think they’re fashionable, but deep inside, they’re insecure about their own ability to attract men with decent clothes, so they dress trashy. Sad!” she says.
Paul, a 28-year-old sales consultant says you need to draw a line when it comes to dressing.
“Women of all ages, colour and size need to dress with some self dignity and respect, I’m not saying that everyone should wear muumuu’s but something more than a bit of string here and there,” he says.
“I agree with him, some women really need to put some clothes on, have some self respect,” his friend Mathew, 27, said.
Joe, 35, a car salesman in Suva, said girls today seem to think that they are sex on legs and a lot of them dress that way.
“The younger girls don’t know that sexiness is your attitude and how you present yourself.”
Edwin, 24, a web designer at Konica Digital Photo Express in Suva agrees that girls and women these days are going overboard with their dress sense.
“I like a girl who dresses decent , I have never been attracted to a girl who dressed like that.
“What’s with the flesh exposure anyway? One day it’s going to get old. It’s what’s inside that counts, their true nature,” he says.
“Insecure I guess, or a lack of confidence in themselves – that’s what we were taught at school,” he reasons when asked why he thinks girls dress less.
Ravin, in his 40’s says he prefers girls who dress decently. “At least they’re covered up.”
Anare Maravu, a security guard, 21, says “it looks nice” but when asked if would consider dating or marrying a girl who dresses like that he said “No! Sa! …”
Maureen, 45, and mother of three teenage daughters, say girls should have respect for themselves otherwise the guys won’t respect them.
“Some women who think they’ve got it all are showing way too much flesh. What on earth for? It’s all about massaging their own ego, drawing attention to themselves and looking for approval from others. Cover up girls, there’s no need to go around in skimpy clothing, not everyone wants to see the colour of your panties or the top of your bra. There are ways of looking classy without looking desperate or trashy,” she says.
In Australia early this month, a US marine captain attacked the dress standards of Australian women after a night on the town in Darwin.
Captain John Campbell said the city’s women wore too little to attract “nice men” after he spent a night out on Mitchell St, The Northern Territory News reported.
“It’s about having standards, ladies,” he wrote.
“What are standards? Well, it can begin by dressing in a manner that leaves something to the imagination, to say the least.”
The captain’s letter to the editor, which was published in the Northern Territory News on January 5, 2010, raised eyebrows among many Darwin women, including nightclub dancer Lana Sandic, 19, who wears fishnet stockings and hot pants on most days (which she says has nothing to do with her standards.)
“He’s got some guts to say that,” she said.
But Capt Campbell was adamant. “Ladies have been conned into thinking that just because you have it means you should flaunt it,” he wrote.
“Come on ladies, don’t send us mixed messages. That’s what you do every time you dress with less than nothing on.”
“Women have lost the art of elegance, and more so, have no idea what sexy really means. Cheap, slutty, easy..” commented a concerned father on the website that ran the article.
Anthia, aka Radio Gal, a columnist at The Zimbabwe Guardian and a news presenter on Zimbabwe’s TZ Radio wrote in one of her Friday colums: “A popular comedian once said: ‘If I walked around the whole day in a policeman’s outfit would you not think I was one? How about those girls who walk around in those skimpy clothes, if I thought they were ‘whores’ can you blame me?’”
So ladies…men…you be the judge.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Don’t get me started. OK, too late.
Dressing in either a sexy or elegant style will catch a man’s eye, no doubt. But what else are you catching in the process? An elegant woman might catch a man by the heart or the mind, engaging him on a higher level that will bring out something grand in both him and her. But a sexy woman will catch a man by the flesh, and that will bring out something base in him that will be detrimental to both him and her.
There is a deep seated confusion between desire and lust. Lust is now marketed as something to be sought after. I can’t figure as to why, but I will say that the Captain is dead on target. If you dress like someone who just wants sex and just want to satisfy our disordered passion, then that is how we will respond. Or at least how we will be tempted to respond.
There is a saying “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you wish you had”. I didn’t know that strip clubs, pimps, and escort services were so selective, since there are appearntly a number of women who just can’t get their dream job. I better wrap this up before I get too snarky.